Happy Valentines Day

Wow, I can't believe it's been almost 10 days since my last post! This past week just flew by....which I guess is a good thing : )

I hope that you all have a Happy Monday....Happy Valentines Day! The husband and I don't really celebrate, but hey, it's always fun to observe the holidays. Even if it just means that we make a fun pink cocktail with dinner tonight, I'm down with that!

I worked all weekend and other than waking up at 5 am on those days, I actually enjoyed it. The pace of the PICU is just so much more chill on the weekends. Less docs around, less family members...less noise! It's kinda nice.

That being said, I took care of a NICU baby. And it's SO funny how the PICU and NICU may share the last 3 letters, but they are WORLDS apart!!! NICU babies are a breed of their own. And PICU nurses just do not enjoy caring for them. These babies do things that are "normal" in the NICU world, but definitely not in the PICU world. And we care for them in a PICU way, which they are not truly accustomed to. So it made for an interesting 24 hours.

But before work this weekend came clinicals.

Clinicals were a little rough this week because my patient was super sick....dying sick. I walked in, saw the patient, looked at the chart, and told my preceptor "Seriously??" (channeling my best Meredith Grey). She just looked at me, smiled, and said "You can handle it."

I can, and I did.

But- it's so different being a nurse practitioner in end-of-life situations than it is being the bedside nurse. I totally wanted to change into scrubs, and get to that bedside to do the "dirty work"....be there with, and for, the family. Not be the outsider looking in...but be the insider collaborating things, orchestrating the way that this boy would be able to pass in peace, with his family right by his side loving and supporting him.

This is something that I'll have to figure out if I take a job as an APN in the PICU. Because I don't want to give up that role with the patient, with the family. I don't want to "check out" the way so many practitioners (and more docs!) do. I want to be there, be involved. Because in reality, I already am.

So this Valentines Day, I am relfecting on the love that I have. Love for my job in the PICU. Love for the kids that I work with (even the NICU babies occasionally!). Love for my co-workers who at the end of the day, come together to work as a team (and that's really what it's all about!).

Love for school...and I don't mean wake up at 4 am, feel like a zombie, school. But the things that I am learning continuously amaze me. I love understanding the WHYs of what we do...and not just the DO of what we do!

And finally, and most importantly, love for my family. The little things that they do, whether it be my husband, my family, or my friends-that-are-closer-than-friends-and-more-like-family, family.

The fact that my mom has no-doubtedly completely transformed the house into a big red and white valentine makes me smile...and more so when I look at my oh-so-not valentines house!

The fact that J asked me (again) this morning, "Um, so you don't want flowers or anything, right?" also makes me smile. This is our 8th Valentines Day together and the only one we celebrated was our first....so no, I do not want flowers : )

On this Valentines, whether you celebrate or not, I hope you too, are able to reflect on the things, the ones, that you love. Happy Valentine's Day!!!

*Sorry for the poor picture quality- it's a picture of a picture (I didn't want to rip the pic out of the scrapbook I made J). Our 1st Valentines together...we had been dating for almost 3 months...Wow, is all I can say : )