Grr...I so love blogging. And yet I just don't do it much anymore! I don't know how people keep up with blogging several times a week, or every day.
What I will say, is despite me not blogging about it much, I do love it. Being a PICU APN that is. And really, I think that's much more important.
So, moving on.
There was a point at around 4 or 5 am on my last night where a nurse was asking me a question. I could see that she was moving her lips, and heard words coming from her mouth, but really could not piece what she was saying together (sounds real safe, huh!?). Well to my defense, once I snapped myself out of it, I made some really good judgement calls!
And funny, I told her "I am so sorry, I'm only like 50% right now. I promise in 30 seconds (after I do a weird jiggling and jumping sort of wake me up dance) I will be back to 100...ok, maybe 95%- but that should be good enough!"
After laughing at my ridiculous wake-me-up-now dance, she then replied, "You look WAY better than 50%. Some people around here are drooling and all baggy-eyed...but you still look fresh!"
I just laughed. I saw myself about an hour before. If that is her definition of "fresh" for me, I am a sad case!
So I caught up a lot on sleep this weekend. And spent some good, lazy quality time with my man.
And this week I'm back in the OR. Oh, how I DO NOT want to go there.
I actually tried negotiating with our scheduler to see if there was a way to put it off until January, or February. Or never!
I know that its great experience. And experience that I definitely need. I just think going into someone else's home, a home that I've invited myself into by asking the nanny and not the homeowner, and then showing up saying "I need you to teach me!" is not the best approach.
I wish there were ample opportunities daily to intubate kids in the PICU. But that just doesn't happen (good for them, bad for me trying to learn). And with the first year fellows also needing the opportunity, those chances dwindle exponentially.
So, I'll go into anesthesia's home this week. I will try my best to be a great house guest. And hopefully I will come out of it with a great experience and a bunch of successful intubations under my belt.
But if not, I will gladly run home, back to the PICU, where I know my family will be waiting with open arms. Especially because we are short staffed right now. But, also because they love me! Ahh, there's no place like home.