Friday, November 4, 2011

Nursing Advice of the Week

I know that I said in this post that I don't generally give out advice regarding adults. But I want to take that back.

Are take-backs allowed!?

Umm, it's my blog so I'm saying yes. Who needs to follow the rules anyways!

So back to my advice. I suggest you listen to it carefully and take it to heart. If not followed precisely, you may find yourself in a PICU.

Well, ok, not a're too old for that. But you would if you weren't an adult.

So here it goes:

If you find yourself at your gym after a great workout where you lifted weights until your muscles couldn't lift anymore and you incorporated cardio until you thought your heart would pop out of your chest, well first of all good for you. But second of all, if you are planning on taking a shower at said gym, take GREAT caution.

You see, when your muscles are fatigued, like really fatigued, they tend to shake. And shaking muscles do not tend to mix well with standing on one leg in a gym shower while trying to shave the other. With flip flops on. And a slippery (eww!) floor.

In fact, you may even slip in that (eww!) slippery shower! And on the way down, you may try to reach for the only thing available....the shower handle.

The shower handle that apparently isn't fixated onto the wall but controls the temperature of the water by turning about 60 degrees in either direction. And in the direction that you are currently falling it turns it bitterly cold.

As the handle didn't slow down your fall, you think perhaps the flimsy plastic shower curtain will. But nope, that will just rip out of the 2 rings that it was barely attached to on one side. At least you didn't rip it out entirely!

But this leaves you hitting your shin on the pseudo-4 inch step that separates the shower from the outside walkway (WHY do they have these anyways...the water still pours out of the shower into the hall drain!?).

And as your hands hit the floor (EWW!) you think, YUP that most definitely hurt!

But even worse, the woman in the next shower (who of course is like 70 and overweight and SO not afraid to show her neked body!) opens her shower curtain to make sure I was ok.

Well, I'm naked looking up at your nakedness. I'm also cold b/c there's frigid water pouring over me right now. My shin is banged up. And my whole body is shaking relentlessly from that blasted workout I just finished!

I've never been better! *Ahem* I mean, YOU have never been better!

Oh, but it does get better. As you quickly try to stand up again and get back into your shower stall (and hoping the elderly large naked woman will also do the same!), there is a very large, very disgusting BLACK hairball stuck to your left shoulder.

You may or may not have very not black hair. Perhaps very blonde hair!

This is clearly NOT your hair! Which will promptly initiate your gag reflex. Big time.

But the thought of the lady next door thinking that you've actually hit your head really hard and are now vomiting (which would require medical attention!) makes it go away as quickly as it came!

So you finish the shower and make your way out of that gym with one bruised shin and one majorly sore, shaking body. Which is obviously not fun!

So there's my nursing advice for the day. Don't work out so hard you can't stop the muscle convulsions should you need to balance on one leg while shaving the other in the stall of a gym shower which will lead you to fall and mess yourself up in more ways than one!

This story- which CLEARLY has never happened to me! And most definitely NOT this week!- should be your fair warning to keep you out of the PICU.

Or the adult version of the same.

And if there were an embarrassment ICU, well, it would keep you out of there as well!

But if you do find yourself there, you can pop your head in and say hi to me : )

What have you done to warrant an admission to embarrassment ICU? Please don't leave me here alone!

***If you want to try this amazing workout that caused this debacle (which she would not condone I'm sure...this is ALL on me!), you can check it out here. This woman is NO joke. She's a nurse too, and she'll kick your booty!

1 comment:

  1. hahaha, that sounds so funny to observe but oh so not funny to be you there and then! For me, putting the microwave in flames at my inlaws place comes probably as number one...